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The Damage Period

Anytime someone is being sued or has a human rights complaint against them, they are always looking to minimize the damage period. They don’t want to pay for your harm for 2 years, when they can only be legally responsible for 6 months.

Common sense, reality and law don’t always match up. These are legal tests. Law tries to put a box around a human experience.

Depending on the legal issue, there are different ways to minimize the damage period.

I took a defamation workshop (notes here), and I found it to be very interesting. I learned about how, if/when, and how you apologize can impact how much you could potentially be on the hook for paying them. For example, let’s say you go on social media and say some horrible shit about someone. You accuse them of being involved in criminal activity, etc. blah blah blah. A week later, you apologize genuinely, take it all back, and try to repair their reputation. You explain you were angry, you made it all up, etc. The apology acts as a time stamp. It legally stops the clock. Your damage period may only be 7 days. But if you apologize after 2 months and the damage has already been done….they have lost business because of what you have said about them. Well, now your costs are going to be much higher.

This is an important concept in human rights complaints for schools, because I have noticed they are always trying to limit their damage period.

This can be good for us.

If they know you have a human rights complaint submitted, they are going to want to “fix it”. Not because they are emotionally motivated, but more financially motivated to do it. They know they are now going to have to justify their actions and provide evidence of accommodation, potentially, to a tribunal. They are going to want to shrink their damage period by providing your child with accommodations. The more concerned they are about you taking your case to a hearing, the more of a commitment to undoing the harm you are going to get.

This is one of the reasons telling them you have filed a human rights complaint before you find out if it’s been accepted or not can be a form of advocacy for your child.

Some people may disagree with me, but in my experience, a human rights complaint offered my child a level of protection. They got the support they needed, and they were protected by retaliation protections in The Code. Depends on what you are dealing with; fast tracking may make the most sense. Sometimes, having a human rights complaint hang over the district, lasting for years, may be the exact thing that you need to keep your kid safe.

If you don’t notice any changes within the next few months after letting the district know you have filed a complaint, they may genuinely feel that they are accommodating your child up to the point of undue hardship and their decisions are justifiable. Doesn’t mean that they are correct.

Lawyers and districts are always thinking of how to reduce their costs, and they will assess how “cost-risky” you are. They have a lot of parents threatening all sorts of things at them. Reality is, not many parents follow through. So if you are a parent who actually files external complaints, you are now sticking out from the crowd.

My suggestion to anyone is to be thoughtful when filing complaints. Don’t rush into it. Be aware of time limits. With the BC HRT and filing a human rights complaint, you have a year. These can be part of your toolbox. For example, if you are considering filing a Teacher’s Regulation Branch, the Ministry wants you to speak with the superintendent first. That can be useful. You may not even need to file the complaint. Start by using human rights language in your advocacy emails and escalate as needed. I also offer you this blog for consideration, titled “If Nothing Else, It’s Okay to Take up Space.”

I had no idea how much strategizing was involved in advocacy when I first started out. I have learned A LOT.

Your pen can be your sword.

Journaling Exercises for Advocacy

If you find yourself spinning, unsure of what to do, here are some journaling questions to ask yourself while you are advocating.

  1. Who am I prioritizing in this scenario?
    • My child’s feelings?
    • My feelings?
    • The teachers?
    • Who?
      *
  2. What am I willing to tolerate?
    • What will I absolutely not tolerate?
      *
  3. What would need to happen for us to leave?
    • Is leaving an option?
    • Why or why not?
      *
  4. What if I don’t do anything?
    • What are the possible outcomes?
    • Can I live with that?
      *
  5. Feelings are not facts. What are the facts of the situation?
    • Now, what are my feelings about those individual facts?
      *
  6. What information am I missing?
    • Do I need to find out more information on a specific topic?
    • Who would I need to ask?
      *
  7. Am I worrying about what people will think of me or my child?
    • Is this changing how I advocate?
    • To what extent?
      *
  8. Fear is a very common feeling that shows up a lot. It is often the feeling hiding behind anger. If you are angry about something, what are you afraid of?
    • What other fears do you have about this scenario?
    • Are you willing to do this work and be fearful, but still do it anyway?
      *
  9. What is your zone of risk tolerance?
    *
  10. How invested in a specific outcome am I?
    • Are there alternatives to achieving the same impact?
      *
  11. Are my needs being met in this scenario?
    • If not, what are my unmet needs?
    • Is there a way for me to provide these needs to myself?
    • Am I relying on someone else to fill these needs?
    • If so, who?
      *
  12. Is there someone who can help me?

Getting ready for IEP Season – Legally

Here is a list of relevant human rights decisions that can assist you in your advocacy at IEP time.

Among decisions from hearings are decisions not to dismiss complaints and have them proceed, which are also relevant. It shows what will be considered a human rights complaint and gives you an idea of what your advocacy options are.

Self-Advocacy

A topic that often comes up in IEP meetings is self-advocacy. What does the Human Rights case law say about advocacy for kids with a disability?

Student (by Parent) v. School District, 2023 BCHRT 237

[90]           Generally, it is the obligation of the person seeking accommodation to bring forward the relevant facts: Central Okanagan School District No. 23 v. Renaud, 1992 CanLII 81 (SCC), [1992] 2 SCR 970. This can be challenging for children, and especially challenging for children with invisible disabilities. I agree with the Parent that children who require accommodation in their school are in a different situation than adults seeking accommodation. Though they have a role to play in the process, that role will be age and ability-specific, and the burden cannot be on a child to identify and bring forward the facts necessary for their accommodation.

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  • Age specific
  • Ability specific
  • Burden is not on the child to identify and bring forward the necessary facts for their accommodation

Self-advocacy is an important skill for children to develop, but we need to be realistic about the environment they are in. I give you this blog: Self-Advocacy and Victim Blaming in Education

Denied an EA?

The Student (by the parent) v. The School District, 2025 BCHRT 17

[1] In April 2022, the Parent made a complaint against the School District on the Student’s behalf. The complaint alleges that the School District discriminated against the Student regarding its services based on the Student’s mental disability. Specifically, the complaint alleges that the School District failed to accommodate the Student by not providing him with an Education Assistant in one of his classes.

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  • We know from this that if you feel your child is not being properly accommodated for their disability-related needs by not having access to an Education Assistant, it may be possible that your human rights complaint will be accepted by the tribunal.
  • You can use this case in your advocacy
  • The school district would have to be able to justify its decision not to provide your child access to an EA and that they were still reasonably accommodating your child. Documenting your child struggling and not equitably accessing their education is key. Provide this evidence to the district with this case.

Professional Recommendations

[66] The Child alleges that the School Board lost or did not read many of the reports that were provided to them, and that as a result, the recommendations contained in those reports were not incorporated into their IEPs. Therefore, they say, the Child’s disabilities were not properly accommodated. The Child says that had the IEPs been developed in line with the medical and psychoeducational recommendations contained in the reports provided to the School Board, their Parents would not have had to intervene with private support services in order to keep the Child at grade level. They say that because the recommendations in the reports were not incorporated into the Child’s IEPs, the Parents were required to provide the Child with tutoring, vision therapy, and auditory therapy, along with other interventions.

[68] The School Board admits that certain of the recommendations contained in the psychoeducational assessment and other medical reports were not included in the Child’s IEPs. However, the School Board says that the IEPs developed for the Child “are consistent with the recognized supports for students with a learning disability like dyslexia within British Columbia.” They say that many of the recommendations from the psychoeducational assessment report in particular were specific to programs available in Colorado, not in BC. They say the IEPs that have been developed for the Child were consistent with the Child’s Ministry of Education designation and “the information regarding [the Child’s] learning needs”, including the provision of a learner support teacher as well as modifications implemented by the classroom teacher. They note that the Child’s progress reports indicate that they have progressed “well” and “overall at grade level”.

[72] While the School Board took steps through the IEPs to accommodate the Child, based on the materials before me, I am not persuaded that they are reasonably certain to prove they took all reasonable and practical steps to remove the disability-related barriers faced by the Child. This allegation will proceed.

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  • The school is taking a risk of you filing a human rights complaint and having it accepted if they do not consider the professional recommendations that you are providing them.

Not Following the IEP

[70] …..The Ministry says IEPs do have a legal effect and function, as there is a valid legislative and policy framework that provides both authority and guidance for IEPs.

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To read about the legal effect and function of an IEP please read this blog, IEP – They aren’t just words on a Page

Meaningful Inquiry

The all-important duty to consult is very applicable to IEP meetings.

Read about the Duty to Consult, which is protected by the Human Rights case law. You are protected and backed up by multiple forms of written authority.

They Must Not Give Up

X by Y v. Board of Education of School District No. Z, 2024 BCHRT 72

[120] Ultimately, on a balance of probabilities, I am satisfied that the District discharged its duty to accommodate X in his grade 2 year by reviewing the Diagnosis Report, developing an IEP, making various support people and strategies available that were incorporated into the classroom and outside, reviewing progress and changes, and adapting its approach in response……

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  • By developing an IEP, reviewing progress and adapting their approach, they can justify reasonable accommodations.
  • So you can ask them to give you examples of this being done.
  • Blog on this case.

NOTE:

Climate Change of Education

We are experiencing the climate change of education.

The lakes have dried up. Food resources are scarce. The weather is harsh and unforgiving. We move to another territory, adapt, or die.

Parents are fighting for the scraps of resources that are spread over a very scarce landscape.

It’s creating stress. Desperation. Mental health issues. Tension between all parties. Survival instincts are in full swing.

You want your child to survive in this climate, you’ll need to fight for it.

A truth that has always been true: those who advocate are more likely to get their needs met. No one is ever going to hand you anything. And I can tell you that if you want your kids’ needs met in education, you will need to advocate. You will need to learn, to research, to study, and grow as an individual to advocate for your child.

That truth has intensified in today’s reality. The scarcity in education has hit hard.

I remember being told my child will have to wait over 6 months for some kind of screening reading test. We were in a state of crisis, and for some little screening test…wait over 6 months?? omg. I thought I was going to rip my face off.

The professional who was supporting my child wrote a letter recommending a psych-ed assessment, and I contacted a district person above the principal. The result was that my child was now bumped up and was booked for the screening in 2 weeks. I sat in front of the professional, telling them how horrible I felt. What about all of the other children who now had to wait longer because my child jumped the line? What about the kids who didn’t have a parent advocating for them? The whole situation made me sick.

He gave me some spiel about how to never feel bad for advocating to the full extent for my child. I am the only advocate my child is going to have.

The horrible parts of how our society is structured are that we compete for resources. We fight it out. It doesn’t feel very good to know that other kids will get less, because your child gets more.

I fucking hate the systems for putting parents in this situation. Sticking us against each other. Vile.

We were dealing with another situation years later and I wrote an effective email to the district. The next day my child had an EA in the class for them. I wondered where in the world this EA came from, and now who is going without?

School districts will sometimes try to guilt-trip parents into compliance and acceptance. Well, if we gave your child an EA then so and so over here wouldn’t get any.

I do want to offer you some comfort that if you ever file complaints, you are now involved in systemic advocacy. Your child and their experience become part of the data collection, and it will raise awareness of just how dire the situation has become.

I have no regrets about filing all of the external complaints that I have. It got my kids what they needed and brought forward decisions parents are now using for their own advocacy. Peace. I am willing to live with the guilt and uncomfortable feelings I have around my kids getting more than others, so that they have a chance in life. Our whole system needs to change. But for right now, for today… if we wait for everyone to get their needs met together, we will be waiting for the rest of our lives. Your child doesn’t have time to wait. The time is now. Fight for them. They need you.

I like the meme I see sometimes on social media. “Choose your hard.”

It’s hard to advocate.
It’s also hard to watch your child suffer.

Choose your hard.

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Advocacy Tools

For those of you who are struggling to get your child EA support, I offer you this human rights decision to support your advocacy.

For those of you who are struggling with teachers following IEPs, I offer you this human rights decision to support your advocacy.

For those of you who are struggling with getting schools to accept professional recommendations in your IEPs, I offer you this human rights decsion to support your advocacy.

And as always, the Duty to Accommodate

The Cocoon – A Rest Stop

There is a grounding exercise where you take a breath and list things you can see, hear, smell, taste and touch. There are a TON of free guided meditation videos on YouTube. I used to do these with my kids a lot. Sometimes focusing on the now, and just the next 5 minutes, can be what is needed.

Sometimes the caterpillar needs to cocoon for a while and rebuild.

I have been talking to a lot of caterpillars.

There will be days when breathing is enough. When thinking long term is overwhelming and it just feels like there is nothing but mountains ahead.

Advocacy is a marathon.

You will need to figure out what you can sustain and how you can sustain yourself.

Stepping away from the fight can also be self-preservation. It can also be the right decision for right now.

I know I write a lot about advocacy and systemic change. Not everyone needs to be doing this, or will be in a position in their life to be engaged in this work. It might not be right now. It might be later. After the break. After the healing. When you feel ready. Or never. Everything is temporary in life and fluid. We can’t anticipate what we will have the capacity for in the future or not.

Choosing the cocoon isn’t giving up. Sometimes staying to fight is a one-way ticket to total destruction.

Choosing to leave one lily pad and jump to a different one can be… these are the cards you have been given, and you are doing the best with what you have got.

If you need permission to leave toxic environments in search of healthier ones and live your best life, you have got it. Go ahead. Focus on the now. Make your child and yourself the priority.

For those who cannot make choosing the cocoon a significant change. Think in the now. In the next 5 min. Find 10 minutes a day where you can cocoon. What would that need to look like for you?

Intersectional Lens – Disability

I am White, ND and Disabled. I have been blogging for years about disability. Speaking Up BC lacks an intersectional lens. That is a gap in what I am providing people and a disservice to anyone who is marginalized and discriminated against due to their race, colour, ancestry and place of origin.

While I am currently at a loss for how I can provide an intersectional lens through my writing to communities I don’t belong to, the only thing I come up with at this point is to provide a platform for their voices and help share their stories.

I am sharing a blog that was written by Moms Against Racism. This is the intersectional lens that is ever so needed.

Children who are racialized often slip through the cracks in the system. The features of their disabilities are blamed on stereotypes and bias. However, White children are identified as needing assessments earlier because of the stereotype, “White children don’t behave like that; clearly, there is something more going on here.” Punishments for racialized children are more severe. They are more under surveillance and judged harsher. The results are that they are pulled into the criminal justice system, and then society blames them and views this as a “character flaw”. It’s not. It’s systemic oppression and discrimination.

Thank you, Moms Against Racism, for writing this really important blog! Please share widely! These are voices that need to be heard.

Brilliance Misread: How Schools Fail Racialized Neurodivergent Kids

New Page – Understanding the role of Teachers and EAs

Check out the new permanent page!

Some frustrations with the school system can come from not understanding the roles of teachers and education staff.

Expectations of what should and could be happening vary greatly among parents.

Here are some links to documents that can help clarify roles and expectations.

  1. Roles and Standards
  2. Teacher Classroom Autonomy
  3. Loco Parentis / Duty of care
  4. Co-parenting with the government
Understanding the Role of Teachers and EAs

School District Lawyers = Birds of Paradise

If you file a human rights complaint, you will be engaging with the school district’s lawyers. Sometimes, they may already be in the background, whether you realize it or not.

When you think of school district lawyers, I want you to think of “birds of paradise”. I have stated before how much I love watching animal documentaries. I swear, you can learn so much about the concept and rules of life by studying other animals. At the core, we are all so similarly driven. Anyhoo, watch birds of paradise and their mating dances. It’s comical. Each species has its own unique dance and they are hilarious and absolutely fascinating to watch.

The lawyers and school district staff also have their own dance, but it’s the dance of trying to intimidate you. Their dance routine becomes predictable. All of their moves come from the same engine. They want to have power over you and be in control.

So I have been given the incredible opportunity to engage for a long time. It has allowed me to study them. Talking to so many people who have been through the process and you see the same pattern of behaviour over and over. Now I get to pass along all of this knowledge to you.

Here is what their dance moves look like.

  • They will use the power of numbers, bring a lot of staff or lawyers to meetings, and overpower you with numbers.
  • They will use body language like buttoning up their suit jackets as they puff out their chest, or a number of non-verbal cues to indicate power. Everything will be designed to indicate class and power. (Insert eye roll)
  • They will intentionally use language they don’t think you will understand in hopes of overwhelming you and send you the message that you are out of depth. (You aren’t. They make it appear that way.)
  • They will ignore you or do things to make you think that your issues aren’t important to them, and they are squeezing you in. They will be dismissive.
  • They will blame the victim.
  • They will analyze and comment on your behaviour.
  • They use shame and embarrassment in hopes you will leave.
  • They will send you legal letters to scare the poop out of you.
  • They do all this thinking that they can have power over you, and you will do whatever they want.

Sit back and watch the show. It’s all part of a dance. Just like how the birds practice over and over how to put all their moves together in the right order, so do the lawyers and school district staff. It’s a show that they are taught and practice.

See it for what it is. It’s a dance.

Here are some of their foundational beliefs.

  1. They think parents are tired, overwhelmed and scared.
  2. They think you will not have time to advocate or if they make it uncomfortable, you will stop
  3. They think that a relationship with your child’s teacher is important to you, so you will highly value that.
  4. They think that you are concerned about how people think about you
  5. They think you possibly have anxiety/PTSD, and you will be easy to poke and manipulate. Or just because this is your kid will be highly emotional and therefore easy to manipulate.
  6. They think the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and if given the opportunity, they will use your own disability/neurodiversity against you.
  7. They think they are always right and they are the smartest people in the room. (LOL)

So the good news is that they are wrong A LOT.

There have been 2 parents in recent years who took their cases to a hearing. I can tell you, they didn’t believe that would happen. They were waiting for the parents to quit at any moment, and that didn’t happen. They were WRONG! Staff, plural, have been forced to retire because of a human rights complaint.

The lawyers have not always been able to protect their clients. Every time they are wrong, it’s because they are underestimating parents. Every. Single. Time.

They don’t understand that we can be tired, overwhelmed, scared, emotional and still have the capacity to fight like hell.

They think they are so sure about all of their assumptions about parents. But the only information they have to assess people is information they have access to or information parents are willing to sprinkle out as bread crumbs, hoping they pick them up. They don’t know what they don’t know. If they can’t connect the dots, then they will be quite shocked when the hearing completes and the parents don’t give up. They have their bias and stereotypes to guide them too.

OR – They are running quite the scam. I haven’t figured out which. They either don’t care if they are making a mistake, but figure the district is going to listen to what they tell them, and they drag things on just to make more money for their law firm. So the lawyers think either their clients are easy to manipulate or the parents. Maybe both. Who knows.

I am open to others’ thoughts on the topic. Who thinks they are wrong and who thinks they are running a scam?

I have met soooo many people seriously contemplating taking their case to a hearing. You all are not alone!

I used to be insulted that I was so underestimated. But now I have realized how much it helped me out. You can use it to your advantage. Sometimes it’s better for you if they don’t see you coming. Especially in the early stages. Play innocent and document document document.

When I started out on the first human rights complaint I filed, I felt like the mother in True Lies. Played by Jamie Lee Curtis. I forget the character’s name in the movie. But there is this scene where she drops the gun, and it falls down the stairs and she ends up wiping out all of the bad guys. Her husband (Arnold Schwartzenger) looks at her impressed by her work, and she sheepishly shrugs. That’s what I felt like. Like I was tripping over my feet just constantly trying to figure things out, and somehow I was wiping out the bad guys.

I have very much evolved and grown through this process. Definitely had the opportunity to sharpen my advocacy skills. This is a chess game. Once you figure out the rules, you’re just watching their dance.

I give you birds of paradise. Enjoy!

New Teachers Regulation Branch Consent Resolution

There is a new TRB consent resolution posted, and unless there is something that I think is relevant, I don’t blog about it.

BUT this one is VERY interesting

And here is why. Get a load of this!

From the decision

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14. In determining that a reprimand and coursework is an appropriate consequence, the Commissioner considered the following factors:

a. Schubert’s actions in physically blocking Student A escalated the situation.

b. Schubert made physical contact with Student A when it was unnecessary for safety.

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Hold the phone.

We are being told by the TRB that if any teacher uses physical contact that escalates a situation and it was unnecessary for safety, they could have a successful TRB complaint against them?

Good to know!

There are situations where adults are physically intervening when safety is not the issue, but as a way to control behaviour, and situations escalate because of it.

Here is your advocacy tool that supports this as wrong, against the Teacher’s Standards and subject to discipline.

Save this decision!

Save. This. Decision.

https://teacherregulation.gov.bc.ca/documents/FormsandPublications/ProfConduct/DisciplineOutcomes/SCHUBERT_CRA_20250911.pdf

For more information on the TRB process and other case examples of where teachers have been disciplined for not following the Teachers Standards when interacting with disabled students, read my TRB page.