I was listening to a podcast for my corrections class and one of the women who has been incarcerated was crying and sharing her experience of how she refused to let the prison system break her soul. She was worthy of a better life.
Her determination to keep herself going during the most difficult period in her life is something that has been floating around in my thinking.
As an advocate, I have hit a wall.
I feel exhausted.
Mentally and emotionally – pushed to my limits.
Disability management – pushed to my limits.
Close to burnout.
And I have 3 exams to write this week.
How do I not become bitter? Broken? And completely mistrusting?
How do I not give up on people?
I can mostly keep myself afloat. Looking for the positive. Self-care. Reminding myself of all the usual things I tell myself that is routed in hope.
My positive cup has been drained by recent events and I am just so fucking tired. More than what I was prepared for. It’s been a long fight.
I must complete a task forcing me to go over every detail with a fine tooth comb. Reliving the details over and over.
How do I keep myself in the game? It’s not over yet.
How do I not let you break me?