Education Advocacy. K-12. Disability. BC, Canada.
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Some frustrations with the school system can come from not understanding the roles of teachers and education staff.
Expectations of what should and could be happening vary greatly among parents.
Here are some links to documents that can help clarify roles and expectations.
If you file a human rights complaint, you will be engaging with the school district’s lawyers. Sometimes, they may already be in the background, whether you realize it or not.
When you think of school district lawyers, I want you to think of “birds of paradise”. I have stated before how much I love watching animal documentaries. I swear, you can learn so much about the concept and rules of life by studying other animals. At the core, we are all so similarly driven. Anyhoo, watch birds of paradise and their mating dances. It’s comical. Each species has its own unique dance and they are hilarious and absolutely fascinating to watch.
The lawyers and school district staff also have their own dance, but it’s the dance of trying to intimidate you. Their dance routine becomes predictable. All of their moves come from the same engine. They want to have power over you and be in control.
So I have been given the incredible opportunity to engage for a long time. It has allowed me to study them. Talking to so many people who have been through the process and you see the same pattern of behaviour over and over. Now I get to pass along all of this knowledge to you.
Here is what their dance moves look like.
Sit back and watch the show. It’s all part of a dance. Just like how the birds practice over and over how to put all their moves together in the right order, so do the lawyers and school district staff. It’s a show that they are taught and practice.
See it for what it is. It’s a dance.
Here are some of their foundational beliefs.
So the good news is that they are wrong A LOT.
There have been 2 parents in recent years who took their cases to a hearing. I can tell you, they didn’t believe that would happen. They were waiting for the parents to quit at any moment, and that didn’t happen. They were WRONG! Staff, plural, have been forced to retire because of a human rights complaint.
The lawyers have not always been able to protect their clients. Every time they are wrong, it’s because they are underestimating parents. Every. Single. Time.
They don’t understand that we can be tired, overwhelmed, scared, emotional and still have the capacity to fight like hell.
They think they are so sure about all of their assumptions about parents. But the only information they have to assess people is information they have access to or information parents are willing to sprinkle out as bread crumbs, hoping they pick them up. They don’t know what they don’t know. If they can’t connect the dots, then they will be quite shocked when the hearing completes and the parents don’t give up. They have their bias and stereotypes to guide them too.
OR – They are running quite the scam. I haven’t figured out which. They either don’t care if they are making a mistake, but figure the district is going to listen to what they tell them, and they drag things on just to make more money for their law firm. So the lawyers think either their clients are easy to manipulate or the parents. Maybe both. Who knows.
I am open to others’ thoughts on the topic. Who thinks they are wrong and who thinks they are running a scam?
I have met soooo many people seriously contemplating taking their case to a hearing. You all are not alone!
I used to be insulted that I was so underestimated. But now I have realized how much it helped me out. You can use it to your advantage. Sometimes it’s better for you if they don’t see you coming. Especially in the early stages. Play innocent and document document document.
When I started out on the first human rights complaint I filed, I felt like the mother in True Lies. Played by Jamie Lee Curtis. I forget the character’s name in the movie. But there is this scene where she drops the gun, and it falls down the stairs and she ends up wiping out all of the bad guys. Her husband (Arnold Schwartzenger) looks at her impressed by her work, and she sheepishly shrugs. That’s what I felt like. Like I was tripping over my feet just constantly trying to figure things out, and somehow I was wiping out the bad guys.
I have very much evolved and grown through this process. Definitely had the opportunity to sharpen my advocacy skills. This is a chess game. Once you figure out the rules, you’re just watching their dance.
I give you birds of paradise. Enjoy!
There is a new TRB consent resolution posted, and unless there is something that I think is relevant, I don’t blog about it.
BUT this one is VERY interesting
And here is why. Get a load of this!
From the decision
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14. In determining that a reprimand and coursework is an appropriate consequence, the Commissioner considered the following factors:
a. Schubert’s actions in physically blocking Student A escalated the situation.
b. Schubert made physical contact with Student A when it was unnecessary for safety.
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Hold the phone.
We are being told by the TRB that if any teacher uses physical contact that escalates a situation and it was unnecessary for safety, they could have a successful TRB complaint against them?
Good to know!
There are situations where adults are physically intervening when safety is not the issue, but as a way to control behaviour, and situations escalate because of it.
Here is your advocacy tool that supports this as wrong, against the Teacher’s Standards and subject to discipline.
Save this decision!
Save. This. Decision.
For more information on the TRB process and other case examples of where teachers have been disciplined for not following the Teachers Standards when interacting with disabled students, read my TRB page.
It is that time again for school board meetings to begin. Many of the districts offer online access. You can email them to be added to their link mail out and be at your home in your PJs watching or listening. Some board meetings aren’t anything extraordinary, and some are absolutely fascinating! I highly recommend getting to know your Trustees and senior administration staff.
They have a question period at the end, which is mostly timed, and you may need to submit your questions beforehand.
I have learned a lot by watching board meetings. It’s interesting to see how they all interact with each other. Some districts are more lively than others. Some districts make the news due to their inner fighting.
During the Chilliwack School District, “School Trustee was seen smoking and drinking at Zoom meeting” – Global News
The Vancouver School District has made the news a few times. This article was written by The Tyee – “Closed Door Meetings, a Police Call, a Stalled Motion”
If you file a Section 11 appeal, it is the Board of Education that you will be making your case to.
They will post the documents related to the meeting so you can look through them. Even if you want to look at previous agenda items, you can go back and look at them all. They post their financials on the district website too, and the all-important Statement of Financial Information (SOFI) that needs to be posted by the end of each year. You can see how much money each district is spending on legal fees. If it’s over $25,000 they must list it. (I have been tracking the largest districts over the last few years).
It’s really important that we understand what is going on inside our kids’ districts. We need to be informed.
Who we vote in as Trustees can have a huge impact on our kids’ education!
For another blog related to school board meetings, I recommend the blog Group Think
When you have kids with disabilities or who are neurodivergent, you are most likely advocating on their behalf in the education system. This system isn’t designed to be inclusive. At all..
The situation that I have been in has been intense. Some of it has been by my own design. You ever want to stir up some shit and kick the can, start up a website.
My kids have experienced harm due to an underfunded system. (Macro systems issue.) But it has also been at the hands of negligent people, a lack of staff training and knowledge, ableism, and some of it has been intentional. (Micro systems issue). I have dealt with people who lied to my face and have no problems intentionally harming my kids and myself.
I trusted these people, and I never should have. A hard lesson to learn.
I have dealt with people who are trying to break me, so I stop blogging and slip away into the shadows. Ummm good luck with that. Thanks for all of the content.
I have had various moments of forgiveness, healing and moving on. I feel what it is like to have the weight lifted. And then they pull more shit, and then I don’t.
I have had many conversations with parents about the concept of healing.
Forgiveness seems to be the key piece.
While I am not in a position to offer advice on how to get to a place of forgiveness and actually stay there, I do want to offer you this incredibly profound article. I will warn you. I cried reading this. I highly recommend you give this a read.
“And here’s what I want you to know: I’m rooting for you.”
Balitmore Brew – “To the teen who killed my brother”
By Attorney Becky King Fieldman
https://www.baltimorebrew.com/2025/09/08/to-the-teen-who-killed-my-brother
I emailed the BC HRT this morning to submit a reply to an application. Below is the email I received in their automated email reply. I almost fell off my chair when I saw this. I had to read it a few times to just process what I was looking at.
Who knows how long this is going to last for but expect delays. Even when they do get back to work, they are going to be returning to a mountain of backed-up work.
They also have a message posted on their website.
I feel for everyone in the system who is urgently needing their issue resolved. Society really undervalues the role the BC HRT plays, and I feel an investment in BC HRT is essential to create a more fair and just life for those who are facing discrimination. We need a more prompt system to navigate and have issues addressed.
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Subject: Temporary Closure due to Strike Action
Due to notice of strike action beginning on Monday, September 22, 2025, please note the following:
BC Human Rights Tribunal Office – 1270 – 605 Robson Street, Vancouver
The Tribunal’s office at this location is closed. Please do not attend the office in person unless you have a matter scheduled at this location.
Hearings and Mediations
Hearings and mediations are generally proceeding as scheduled. If you have a hearing or mediation scheduled, you will be contacted if there are any changes to the schedule.
Phone Lines
The Tribunal will monitor its voicemail messages for urgent matters. If your message is not an urgent matter, it will be responded to when the Tribunal resumes services.
Email, Mail and other Deliveries
Regular communications are not being monitored during this time. Expect delays as a result. A mailbox is available outside the Tribunal office’s entrance if you wish to make a delivery. The mailbox will be monitored daily from 8:30 to 4:30.
Urgent Communications
The Tribunal will be monitoring its inbox for urgent matters only such as:
· • Communications regarding hearings and mediations scheduled in the next 4 weeks;
· • Extension requests for deadlines within the next 4 weeks;
· • Application materials including fast track requests; and
· • Service of judicial review materials.
·
If your matter is urgent, you must mark “URGENT” in the subject line with the case number. We recommend you also leave a message at (604) 775-2000, telling us you have sent an urgent email.
Date of Receipt
Email and Fax: Communications sent by email or fax will be considered received on the date of the email or fax. Communications received after 4:30 will be dated the following business day. Please keep a copy of your sent email for your records.
Complaints Filed Online: Any new complaints filed online are automatically dated on the date they are submitted on the Tribunal’s system.
Mail and Courier Deliveries: Deliveries by mail and courier will be dated the date of receipt. Access to the mailbox at the Tribunal’s office closes at 4:30 each day.
We appreciate your patience and understanding during this interruption to our services and regret the impact this has on the processing of the complaint. The Tribunal will make its best efforts to process materials filed during the strike action when it resumes services.
Sincerely,
BC Human Rights Tribunal
Before I jump into the theme of this blog, I do want to mention that if you email someone in the district (head office) and you don’t cc: the principal, the email you send to the district will be sent to the principal of your kids’ school first. They will check in with them before they touch base with you. You might as well cc: the principal in the email anyway, and appear transparent and working in good faith.
I can’t tell you how important it is to get really good at emails. Email is a tool in your toolbox. Knowing how to write emails and who to send them to and include, will help you. For example, to decrease the chance of someone ignoring you, include more than one person in an email. For more info about emails, read Inclusion BC’s manual and Family Support Institute’s email guide.
Always remember that any email you send can be sent to anyone in the district, can be sent to their lawyers, and could end up in a hearing. Emails are not private conversations.
Ok, now back to asking.
A very common thing for people to do when advocating is that they are not clear with their ask. They spill out an emotional story and are often all over the map. (No judgement. I have sent these emails too.) Then they end their email. The reader is left wondering what you are actually asking for. Some people don’t know what they want. All is very common.
What exactly do you want?
When do you want it?
How do you want this to happen?
Putting a clear ask in an email is very important and often overlooked unless you intentionally focus on it.
At the end of every email you send, if you want the school to take action on something, you are going to need a clearly defined request.
I even suggest you explicitly state things that are time sensitive. “This is time sensitive”. There are things that you can be explicitly clear about. The clearer you are, the better, for all involved. Putting a date of when you would like to hear from them can also be helpful. “Could you please respond to me by Friday, September 26th?”
If they are ignoring you, I suggest this page. How to Deal with Schools Giving You the Silent Treatment.
Some emails, it’s unclear if you are even expecting a response, or if you’re just venting at the person or telling them off (which I don’t suggest). If you want them to respond to you, you can say something like, “I look forward to your response”, or I would greatly appreciate a response within the next 3 days.
My suggestions for an email format is:
It’s really important that we are very clear on what we are asking for. If we aren’t getting the response from the school, it could be that they aren’t clear on what we are asking for or expecting from them. You want your communication to be ridiculously clear so they can’t wiggle out of it. Even if it seems ridiculously obvious to you what you want from them, just be ridiculously clear.
Never make assumptions, and no one can read your mind.
If you child is telling you things, you need to make that clear. Johnny told me…… Do not assume that you have the whole story. Quite often, you will not. Don’t automatically accuse the teacher of what your child has told you. You will need to do some investigating and be a detective first. So, your first approach is to be curious and inquire, seeking more information. You don’t want them to be defensive and shut down on you. A carefully crafted email could get you the information you are looking for before you make decisions on how you want to resolve the situation.
Never make assumptions.
A blog I highly recommend you read and consider when engaging with education staff is the blog 5 Rules on how to be Untouchable
A mug I saw on social media that makes me laugh. “Dance like no one is watching. Email like it will be read out at a tribunal.”
The wider the gap between our expectations and reality, the more pain we will feel. The angrier we will feel. The more depressed we will feel.
Lower your expectations, and you will be happy for the rest of your life. End of blog. No. Just joking!
Although this blog is going to be about changing our expectations, or at least reflecting on our expectations. It is important. Are we setting ourselves up for nothing but frustration and crushing heaviness?
Sometimes we are.
I thought in my mind that people in education were knowledgeable, smart and caring people. People who loved children and wanted the best for them. I thought they would be more honest and have higher personal qualities than the average public citizen because they worked in education.
You can imagine the hard fall that I had. The confusion. The disbelief.
I must not be believing what I am seeing and hearing. Is it me? Am I misunderstanding things? This isn’t making sense to me.
The sting was more severe, given that I held them up on a pedestal in my mind. These are teachers. Counsellors. Wise ones.
When I remember way back when my kids started school, what I used to think about the education staff, it makes me laugh out loud. And feel absolutely ridiculous for even thinking that. But everyone thinks something along those lines. We hold teachers and, therefore, administrators, and those in education in such high regard. Surely they work in education because they love children. Why are they here?
When we find out they are lying to us, to the detriment of children, and for their own benefit, it breaks us. It almost broke me. Literally. When I found out about the colluding and mastermind strategizing to put kids in harm and not give a shit just to make the system work…. and these people are in education. Well, my heart and soul disappeared from society for some time. Forgiveness was a way to pull myself out. But that didn’t last very long when they went back to their old shenanigans. They say forgiveness isn’t a straight line. Yeah, no kidding. It’s a rollercoaster. Depends on the day.
I learned to accept my reality and align my expectations more in line with the reality I have come to know and accept.
When we are advocating for our kids, sometimes we are talking to Mary Poppins, and sometimes we are talking to a wolf in sheep’s clothing. And sometimes it’s hard to determine the difference.
There are very well-meaning, loving and giving people in the education system. And these wonderful people still have a fiduciary duty to their employers. But I can 100% tell you, and provide you with evidence, that there are some very serious wolves in sheep’s clothing. Children are NOT their priority. School isn’t a safe place for every child.
It is uncomfortable to feel that we need to protect our children from educators. To fight for their rights. For them not to be harmed. Like…. WTF!?! We need to protect them from people who choose to work in education????
Yup.
Yes, we do.
Accepting reality can lift a weight off your shoulders. This is the system. People get brainwashed in the system to feel that they are fighting for something. Something important. The stability of the status quo.
Wishing that things were different isn’t going to change anything. But we do have control over our own expectations. These are the cards that have been dealt. Now, what do we want to do with it?
Step one: Change your expectations.
This is a case that involves a nursing student at a post-secondary institution.
Student D v. Selkirk College, 2025 BCHRT 178
[2] Student D was a student in the Bachelor of Nursing program at Selkirk College. She alleges the College discriminated against her in the area of services on the grounds of mental and physical disability contrary to s.8 of the Code. She says the College failed to reasonably accommodate her disabilities which negatively affected her academic performance, and she ultimately withdrew from the program.
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This is a dismissal application, but it’s a specific type of dismissal application. The respondents offered her a settlement offer that can be disclosed to the tribunal. It is called a “with prejudice” offer.
If you offer a settlement offer to the respondents and you don’t want it to be disclosed to the tribunal, you need to write “without prejudice” at the top of your email/offer.
If you turn down a with prejudice offer, the respondents can file a dismissal application that ultimately forces you to accept the offer. The only way to not accept it is to convince the tribunal that your case is worthy of the time and resources of the tribunal for a hearing, as it will benefit the public interest and potentially make case law advancements. Or you can just not accept it and walk away with nothing.
This case can also give you ideas on what kinds of things you can ask for in a mediation meeting.
This is an important case to read for young adults in post-secondary.
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[7] Student D has achondroplasia, generalized anxiety disorder, and auditory processing disorder. In September 2017, she started a four-year Bachelor of Nursing program at the College. Student D says that between April 28, 2020, and July 14, 2020, during the practicum portion of her program, she made requests for accommodation to her instructors and school administrators who failed to provide her the requested accommodations. Student D withdrew from her program on September 21, 2020.
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This is what she was offered, which she turned down. She felt the amount was too low. And so now the tribunal has to make a decision about allowing it to continue to a hearing or not. Respondents cannot file this kind of dismissal if the hearing is within the next 4 months.
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[9] On February 3, 2025, the College made a with prejudice offer to settle the complaint on the following terms:
a. The amount of $20,000 for injury to dignity, feelings, and self-respect.
b. The amount of $24,394.30 for lost wages, less statutory deductions, representing a delay to potential graduation from the Bachelor of Nursing program by one year, less her average annual earnings as a care aide and educational assistant, and less a 30% contingency to account for the potential non-graduation from the program.
c. The College will provide Student D with a letter of regret acknowledging the distress she experienced in the program.
d. The College will provide a revised transcript replacing any “fail”, “no credit granted” or “partial credit granted” notations with a “withdrawal” notation. The College will also provide a transfer letter endorsing Student D as a candidate for any nursing programs in other post-secondary institutions.
e. The College will commit to reviewing its Accessibility Services for Students program and making any updates it deems necessary.
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The tribunal dismissed her human rights complaint and allowed her to accept the offer she originally rejected, if she wanted it. You can read more about how they analyzed the appropriate settlement amount in the case. I haven’t pulled any of that out for this blog. Fighting this type of dismissal is low risk because you can always accept the same offer, even if you lose the dismissal application. Sometimes these are posted publicly, and some dismissal applications are private. But this is also a great way to get a public record of your case.
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[10] The offer remains open for acceptance notwithstanding the filing of the application to dismiss the complaint. The offer will expire two weeks following the Tribunal’s decision on the application to dismiss.
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And the decision from the tribunal is….
[47] The Tribunal routinely hears and decides cases that concern disability accommodation in educational settings, and I am not persuaded that the circumstances of the present case engage broader public policy issues that warrant proceeding in the face of a reasonable settlement offer. Further, considerable resources of the parties and the Tribunal would be required for a hearing of this matter. The Tribunal encourages parties to resolve their disputes in good faith on a voluntary basis. The College’s settlement offer contains terms that the Tribunal cannot order at a hearing, such as issuing a letter of regret, providing a revised transcript, and the transfer letter. The College’s offer also includes terms to ensure the discrimination does not occur again by reviewing its accessibility policies and training its faculty. Under the circumstances, I find that allowing this complaint to proceed would not further the purposes of the Code.
Yes. Life is intense right now with everything happening globally, nationally, and locally. Our hearts are hurting. Intensely. We are stretched, and our capacity is being tested even more. Just when you think you can’t possibly be stretched even more.
If you are breathing, there is hope. The fact that you are alive to question whether there is hope or not means there is hope.
The human spirit is incredible.
If a traumatized child soldier from a war-torn country can grow up to write a book called “My Life is Art” – Emmanuel Jal, then there is hope. History tells us there is hope. We aren’t living in medieval times anymore. In most parts of the world, we aren’t putting people on torture devices anymore. In most parts of the world, we aren’t burning people alive. If someone asked me if I wanted to teleport back to that time period, I’d be heading for the hills.
Our legal system isn’t perfect, but we aren’t cutting off people’s body parts anymore for crimes we feel they might have done. We aren’t drilling holes in the heads of people with mental illnesses, thinking we are letting the devil escape, and we are saving them.
We don’t want to go back in time. We want to move forward. We have come a long way.
Life is never fair, but here is the thing. Humans are wired for wanting fairness. Needing fairness. We are constantly in a state of discontent that propels us forward and forces us to never settle. Our brains are even wired to root for the underdog. It’s why we love those stories. They are so satisfying to the human spirit. And we have a lot of underdogs in history who have pivoted us in the right direction. We believe in underdogs. And they do exist. Everywhere.
Disability advocacy has come a long way. We also have a long way to go. And now….we are being even more stretched. But this certainly isn’t the worst point in history for people with disabilities.
We have so many incredible people, disabled people, allies, who are speaking up. Who are blogging, who are talking to the media, who are writing books, doing TEdTalks, who are networking, who are working behind the scenes, who are advocating, who are living a resistance by just being who they are and not bending to the “normal” social story.
We can never give up.
We can rest. We can always rest.
And when we are ready. We get back into the ring.
As long as you have a goal to learn and stretch, you are creating your own hope. Because here is the truth.
No one is coming to save you.
But if you want it, there are a lot of people who are willing to help you, guide you, listen to you, and sit with you. But in the end, you are the one making decisions about how much you advocate and how. You are responsible for your own decision-making.
You can’t wait for the system to be fair before you decide to get in the ring. It will never be fair. You wait for that, and you’ll be waiting the rest of your life. History has never provided the ideal circumstances for anyone. It’s always been imperfect, mucky and an uphill battle against all odds. Humanity will always be a “work in progress”, shall we say. We have the potential for the most intense harm anyone can ever imagine, inflicted on another human being. We also have the potential for the most love, to survive the unimaginable. Love is the highest form of energy that has shown time and time again, it overcomes all.
So, yes. There is always hope.
And the hope is always going to be inside of you.
You are wired for survival and hope.
You just need to keep breathing. And some days. That is enough. Because there is always tomorrow. Hope.