The wider the gap between our expectations and reality, the more pain we will feel. The angrier we will feel. The more depressed we will feel.
Lower your expectations, and you will be happy for the rest of your life. End of blog. No. Just joking!
Although this blog is going to be about changing our expectations, or at least reflecting on our expectations. It is important. Are we setting ourselves up for nothing but frustration and crushing heaviness?
Sometimes we are.
I thought in my mind that people in education were knowledgeable, smart and caring people. People who loved children and wanted the best for them. I thought they would be more honest and have higher personal qualities than the average public citizen because they worked in education.
You can imagine the hard fall that I had. The confusion. The disbelief.
I must not be believing what I am seeing and hearing. Is it me? Am I misunderstanding things? This isn’t making sense to me.
The sting was more severe, given that I held them up on a pedestal in my mind. These are teachers. Counsellors. Wise ones.
When I remember way back when my kids started school, what I used to think about the education staff, it makes me laugh out loud. And feel absolutely ridiculous for even thinking that. But everyone thinks something along those lines. We hold teachers and, therefore, administrators, and those in education in such high regard. Surely they work in education because they love children. Why are they here?
When we find out they are lying to us, to the detriment of children, and for their own benefit, it breaks us. It almost broke me. Literally. When I found out about the colluding and mastermind strategizing to put kids in harm and not give a shit just to make the system work…. and these people are in education. Well, my heart and soul disappeared from society for some time. Forgiveness was a way to pull myself out. But that didn’t last very long when they went back to their old shenanigans. They say forgiveness isn’t a straight line. Yeah, no kidding. It’s a rollercoaster. Depends on the day.
I learned to accept my reality and align my expectations more in line with the reality I have come to know and accept.
When we are advocating for our kids, sometimes we are talking to Mary Poppins, and sometimes we are talking to a wolf in sheep’s clothing. And sometimes it’s hard to determine the difference.
There are very well-meaning, loving and giving people in the education system. And these wonderful people still have a fiduciary duty to their employers. But I can 100% tell you, and provide you with evidence, that there are some very serious wolves in sheep’s clothing. Children are NOT their priority. School isn’t a safe place for every child.
It is uncomfortable to feel that we need to protect our children from educators. To fight for their rights. For them not to be harmed. Like…. WTF!?! We need to protect them from people who choose to work in education????
Yup.
Yes, we do.
Accepting reality can lift a weight off your shoulders. This is the system. People get brainwashed in the system to feel that they are fighting for something. Something important. The stability of the status quo.
Wishing that things were different isn’t going to change anything. But we do have control over our own expectations. These are the cards that have been dealt. Now, what do we want to do with it?
Step one: Change your expectations.