We are experiencing the climate change of education.
The lakes have dried up. Food resources are scarce. The weather is harsh and unforgiving. We move to another territory, adapt, or die.
Parents are fighting for the scraps of resources that are spread over a very scarce landscape.
It’s creating stress. Desperation. Mental health issues. Tension between all parties. Survival instincts are in full swing.
You want your child to survive in this climate, you’ll need to fight for it.
A truth that has always been true: those who advocate are more likely to get their needs met. No one is ever going to hand you anything. And I can tell you that if you want your kids’ needs met in education, you will need to advocate. You will need to learn, to research, to study, and grow as an individual to advocate for your child.
That truth has intensified in today’s reality. The scarcity in education has hit hard.
I remember being told my child will have to wait over 6 months for some kind of screening reading test. We were in a state of crisis, and for some little screening test…wait over 6 months?? omg. I thought I was going to rip my face off.
The professional who was supporting my child wrote a letter recommending a psych-ed assessment, and I contacted a district person above the principal. The result was that my child was now bumped up and was booked for the screening in 2 weeks. I sat in front of the professional, telling them how horrible I felt. What about all of the other children who now had to wait longer because my child jumped the line? What about the kids who didn’t have a parent advocating for them? The whole situation made me sick.
He gave me some spiel about how to never feel bad for advocating to the full extent for my child. I am the only advocate my child is going to have.
The horrible parts of how our society is structured are that we compete for resources. We fight it out. It doesn’t feel very good to know that other kids will get less, because your child gets more.
I fucking hate the systems for putting parents in this situation. Sticking us against each other. Vile.
We were dealing with another situation years later and I wrote an effective email to the district. The next day my child had an EA in the class for them. I wondered where in the world this EA came from, and now who is going without?
School districts will sometimes try to guilt-trip parents into compliance and acceptance. Well, if we gave your child an EA then so and so over here wouldn’t get any.
I do want to offer you some comfort that if you ever file complaints, you are now involved in systemic advocacy. Your child and their experience become part of the data collection, and it will raise awareness of just how dire the situation has become.
I have no regrets about filing all of the external complaints that I have. It got my kids what they needed and brought forward decisions parents are now using for their own advocacy. Peace. I am willing to live with the guilt and uncomfortable feelings I have around my kids getting more than others, so that they have a chance in life. Our whole system needs to change. But for right now, for today… if we wait for everyone to get their needs met together, we will be waiting for the rest of our lives. Your child doesn’t have time to wait. The time is now. Fight for them. They need you.
I like the meme I see sometimes on social media. “Choose your hard.”
It’s hard to advocate.
It’s also hard to watch your child suffer.
Choose your hard.
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Advocacy Tools
For those of you who are struggling to get your child EA support, I offer you this human rights decision to support your advocacy.
For those of you who are struggling with teachers following IEPs, I offer you this human rights decision to support your advocacy.
For those of you who are struggling with getting schools to accept professional recommendations in your IEPs, I offer you this human rights decsion to support your advocacy.
And as always, the Duty to Accommodate