Before I jump into the theme of this blog, I do want to mention that if you email someone in the district (head office) and you don’t cc: the principal, the email you send to the district will be sent to the principal of your kids’ school first. They will check in with them before they touch base with you. You might as well cc: the principal in the email anyway, and appear transparent and working in good faith.
I can’t tell you how important it is to get really good at emails. Email is a tool in your toolbox. Knowing how to write emails and who to send them to and include, will help you. For example, to decrease the chance of someone ignoring you, include more than one person in an email. For more info about emails, read Inclusion BC’s manual and Family Support Institute’s email guide.
Always remember that any email you send can be sent to anyone in the district, can be sent to their lawyers, and could end up in a hearing. Emails are not private conversations.
Ok, now back to asking.
A very common thing for people to do when advocating is that they are not clear with their ask. They spill out an emotional story and are often all over the map. (No judgement. I have sent these emails too.) Then they end their email. The reader is left wondering what you are actually asking for. Some people don’t know what they want. All is very common.
What exactly do you want?
When do you want it?
How do you want this to happen?
Putting a clear ask in an email is very important and often overlooked unless you intentionally focus on it.
At the end of every email you send, if you want the school to take action on something, you are going to need a clearly defined request.
I even suggest you explicitly state things that are time sensitive. “This is time sensitive”. There are things that you can be explicitly clear about. The clearer you are, the better, for all involved. Putting a date of when you would like to hear from them can also be helpful. “Could you please respond to me by Friday, September 26th?”
If they are ignoring you, I suggest this page. How to Deal with Schools Giving You the Silent Treatment.
Some emails, it’s unclear if you are even expecting a response, or if you’re just venting at the person or telling them off (which I don’t suggest). If you want them to respond to you, you can say something like, “I look forward to your response”, or I would greatly appreciate a response within the next 3 days.
My suggestions for an email format is:
- Start off with a connecting statement. (I hope you are well/thank you for your previous email; I appreciate your follow-up/etc)
- State the facts of what has happened. (facts only)
- State your concerns (thoughts, feelings, opinions)
- State your ask (what do you want to have happen)
- End with an appreciative closing statement (I look forward to meeting with you and discussing this further/thank you for your support/etc)
It’s really important that we are very clear on what we are asking for. If we aren’t getting the response from the school, it could be that they aren’t clear on what we are asking for or expecting from them. You want your communication to be ridiculously clear so they can’t wiggle out of it. Even if it seems ridiculously obvious to you what you want from them, just be ridiculously clear.
Never make assumptions, and no one can read your mind.
If you child is telling you things, you need to make that clear. Johnny told me…… Do not assume that you have the whole story. Quite often, you will not. Don’t automatically accuse the teacher of what your child has told you. You will need to do some investigating and be a detective first. So, your first approach is to be curious and inquire, seeking more information. You don’t want them to be defensive and shut down on you. A carefully crafted email could get you the information you are looking for before you make decisions on how you want to resolve the situation.
Never make assumptions.
A blog I highly recommend you read and consider when engaging with education staff is the blog 5 Rules on how to be Untouchable
A mug I saw on social media that makes me laugh. “Dance like no one is watching. Email like it will be read out at a tribunal.”
