School District Lawyers = Birds of Paradise

If you file a human rights complaint, you will be engaging with the school district’s lawyers. Sometimes, they may already be in the background, whether you realize it or not.

When you think of school district lawyers, I want you to think of “birds of paradise”. I have stated before how much I love watching animal documentaries. I swear, you can learn so much about the concept and rules of life by studying other animals. At the core, we are all so similarly driven. Anyhoo, watch birds of paradise and their mating dances. It’s comical. Each species has its own unique dance and they are hilarious and absolutely fascinating to watch.

The lawyers and school district staff also have their own dance, but it’s the dance of trying to intimidate you. Their dance routine becomes predictable. All of their moves come from the same engine. They want to have power over you and be in control.

So I have been given the incredible opportunity to engage for a long time. It has allowed me to study them. Talking to so many people who have been through the process and you see the same pattern of behaviour over and over. Now I get to pass along all of this knowledge to you.

Here is what their dance moves look like.

  • They will use the power of numbers, bring a lot of staff or lawyers to meetings, and overpower you with numbers.
  • They will use body language like buttoning up their suit jackets as they puff out their chest, or a number of non-verbal cues to indicate power. Everything will be designed to indicate class and power. (Insert eye roll)
  • They will intentionally use language they don’t think you will understand in hopes of overwhelming you and send you the message that you are out of depth. (You aren’t. They make it appear that way.)
  • They will ignore you or do things to make you think that your issues aren’t important to them, and they are squeezing you in. They will be dismissive.
  • They will blame the victim.
  • They will analyze and comment on your behaviour.
  • They use shame and embarrassment in hopes you will leave.
  • They will send you legal letters to scare the poop out of you.
  • They do all this thinking that they can have power over you, and you will do whatever they want.

Sit back and watch the show. It’s all part of a dance. Just like how the birds practice over and over how to put all their moves together in the right order, so do the lawyers and school district staff. It’s a show that they are taught and practice.

See it for what it is. It’s a dance.

Here are some of their foundational beliefs.

  1. They think parents are tired, overwhelmed and scared.
  2. They think you will not have time to advocate or if they make it uncomfortable, you will stop
  3. They think that a relationship with your child’s teacher is important to you, so you will highly value that.
  4. They think that you are concerned about how people think about you
  5. They think you possibly have anxiety/PTSD, and you will be easy to poke and manipulate. Or just because this is your kid will be highly emotional and therefore easy to manipulate.
  6. They think the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and if given the opportunity, they will use your own disability/neurodiversity against you.
  7. They think they are always right and they are the smartest people in the room. (LOL)

So the good news is that they are wrong A LOT.

There have been 2 parents in recent years who took their cases to a hearing. I can tell you, they didn’t believe that would happen. They were waiting for the parents to quit at any moment, and that didn’t happen. They were WRONG! Staff, plural, have been forced to retire because of a human rights complaint.

The lawyers have not always been able to protect their clients. Every time they are wrong, it’s because they are underestimating parents. Every. Single. Time.

They don’t understand that we can be tired, overwhelmed, scared, emotional and still have the capacity to fight like hell.

They think they are so sure about all of their assumptions about parents. But the only information they have to assess people is information they have access to or information parents are willing to sprinkle out as bread crumbs, hoping they pick them up. They don’t know what they don’t know. If they can’t connect the dots, then they will be quite shocked when the hearing completes and the parents don’t give up. They have their bias and stereotypes to guide them too.

OR – They are running quite the scam. I haven’t figured out which. They either don’t care if they are making a mistake, but figure the district is going to listen to what they tell them, and they drag things on just to make more money for their law firm. So the lawyers think either their clients are easy to manipulate or the parents. Maybe both. Who knows.

I am open to others’ thoughts on the topic. Who thinks they are wrong and who thinks they are running a scam?

I have met soooo many people seriously contemplating taking their case to a hearing. You all are not alone!

I used to be insulted that I was so underestimated. But now I have realized how much it helped me out. You can use it to your advantage. Sometimes it’s better for you if they don’t see you coming. Especially in the early stages. Play innocent and document document document.

When I started out on the first human rights complaint I filed, I felt like the mother in True Lies. Played by Jamie Lee Curtis. I forget the character’s name in the movie. But there is this scene where she drops the gun, and it falls down the stairs and she ends up wiping out all of the bad guys. Her husband (Arnold Schwartzenger) looks at her impressed by her work, and she sheepishly shrugs. That’s what I felt like. Like I was tripping over my feet just constantly trying to figure things out, and somehow I was wiping out the bad guys.

I have very much evolved and grown through this process. Definitely had the opportunity to sharpen my advocacy skills. This is a chess game. Once you figure out the rules, you’re just watching their dance.

I give you birds of paradise. Enjoy!