5 Rules on How to be Untouchable

(Or at least try to be…)

The school district and their lawyers are just waiting for you to do any of the following things listed below…literally sitting back, fingers crossed and waiting. They know what works. They do this all the time.

They can use your own decisions against you in multiple ways. Destroying your credibility at a hearing, filing a section 177 against you, getting your human rights complaint completely dismissed and with costs, shutting down complete communication with you, sending you a cease and desist letter or threatening a defamation lawsuit.

(And before we go any further, trust me, this blog is not from personal experience. For those of you who know which school district I am connected to, please don’t infer, none of these things have happened to me.)

This blog is from reading case law, newspaper articles, finding websites/YouTube videos of pissed-off parents and hearing their stories, hearing stories directly from other parents, and hearing through the grapevine ALLLLL of the multiple other stories floating around our community. This by the way is a national issue, not just a BC issue. So, if you are sitting in a small town in PEI, this stuff still applies.

To the people waiting for you to do any of these things… this is a chess game. It’s not a chess game to us, and its a hard pill to swollow just how strategic navigating the maze needs to be, but we need to realize that this is how its viewed by them. And we need to figure out what the rules are and follow them.

When we follow the rules, we are closer to being untouchable, and we can continue to advocate.

Here we go.

Rule #1Always be polite and respectful.

  1. Don’t be rude. Be polite and respectful. Always.
  • Losing your cool and sending in an email that is just blasting them, insulting them, threatening them, etc, etc. is an easy way for them to be all over you and be backed up by the tribunal and court system. This will open the door for them to file a dismissal and get your case dismissed and apply for costs, file a section 177 etc, etc. They are literally hoping you go this route and you make it really easy for them to control you. They can’t wait for this to happen.
  • Sending in your emails doesn’t need to align with exactly how you feel. Your emails need to be written with strategy in mind. Your intent can be to either to document what is happening with the purpose of gathering evidence, to communicate your child’s unmet needs in ways that they can’t claim hindsight later on and trigger meaningful inquiry, to be problem-solving to resolve the immediate issues at hand etc. But making yourself feel better to release the stress valve has the potential of undermining your advocacy and destroying the opportunity for the systemic changes that you are hoping for.
  • It’s a painful part of the advocacy process to think so strategically, but this skill is really really important. I think of it as, we need to become Cheetahs. Cheetahs are loving parents, and affectionate with their young. They are also the most extremely patient and strategic hunters. We need to be cheetahs for maximum efficiency. We can’t let our advocacy efforts be undermined and swept aside because we lose our shit. They will poke us and poke us and just wait for us to explode. We need to have other release values and when we interact with them, we are in cheetah mode.

Rule #2No defamation, no naming

2. Don’t name or defame anyone on social media.

  • Defamation is a really easy hook to get you on. Defamation just needs to be said to one other person. It is ridiculous how fast they will jump on this.

See news article below, click to read.

Mom threatened with legal action after questioning B.C. principal who’s now accused of misappropriation
2014 letter from school board lawyer warned against ‘defamatory statements’ about Tricia Rooney
  • That means on any social media site, in conversations with anyone else, you CAN’T name people. You are making yourself way too easy of a target.
  • I took a workshop on defamation. Here are my notes.
  • If you are in a heated battle with the school, keep your circle very small on who you let in. These need to be trusted people in your life. You can talk about your situation, just don’t name anyone.
  • Having fake social media accounts can be ways of interacting with support group FB accounts or posting anonymously can be a layer of protection that will aid in your untouchability.
  • Parents have had human rights cases dismissed and their social media posts were used against them.
  • Trust me, they troll your social media when you become a red flag to them.
  • You never know who is in a Facebook group. Just like it is easy for a parent to make a fake account to protect themselves, it’s easy for anyone to make a fake Facebook account. Facebook groups are public, not private.

Rule #3Don’t share confidential information

3. Don’t post content on social media that has the words CONFIDENTIAL on it. This again opens you up to them being able to threaten you with legal action and having the ability to control you.

  • This includes anything from the government that is sent to you in a password protected file or simply has the words CONFIDENTIAL at the top.
  • And yes… this is how the system stays in control and keeps everything hidden. I know. If you want to present this information as evidence in a hearing, that’s a different story. Stuff that is hidden away under privacy laws can still be used as evidence at tribunal hearings and court proceedings. This again is about being strategic about what we do. Be the cheetah. Wait it out. If you play the chess game right, you’ll be able to present the evidence when you need to and maximize your efficiency.

Rule #4Don’t protest

4. Do not protest a decision in a school by refusing to leave, or forcing your way into a classroom. Refusing to pick up your kid in the name of protest, I also don’t suggest. You are setting yourself up for a section 177 and you will be accused of not working in good faith with the school, you will not be following your duty to facilitate and your human rights complaint has the potential of being dismissed. If you refuse to pick up your child without good reason in the name of protesting, MFCD may be called.

  • Even if you adamantly disagree with the a decision that the school has made, they have the power to make those decisions whether you agree or not. It’s risky for them if they didn’t meaningfully consult with you, but the School Act and Supreme Court of Canada, do give them the power to make class placement decisions and reasonable accommodation decisions.
  • The only way to maintain your credibility and access to the school is to follow the internal and external complaint systems in a civil manner. I know, that they are the ones controlling the system and this isn’t going to be fair. Totally get it. It doesn’t matter. If you want to give them even more power and have them cut you off at the knees then behaving in a way that makes you non-compliant, or the staff don’t feel physically or psychologically safe around you will end up being a gift to them. It will be so easy for them to file a section 177. Next time you show up at the school the police will be called and you’ll be out the door so fast. Don’t do them any favors. Collect your evidence and nail them in due course. Patience.

Rule #5Knowledge and your values are power

5. This rule isn’t a rule on not what to do, this is a rule on what to do. This will also help to make you feel personally untouchable.

  • Know your stuff. That means human rights law, duty to accommodate, and external complaint avenues. Learn as much as you can. Knowledge is power. Ground your arguments in evidence and documentation. Stick to the facts. Don’t over-exaggerate. Don’t lie. Your credibility is everything.
  • This to me personally, is so important. Following your values is the most powerful tool to be untouchable. When you align your advocacy with your values, and how you want to treat people, strength is unlimited. What is your fuel? Unfairness? Systemic oppression? Lying? Even though people may be playing dirty with you, or lying to you, navigating your advocacy with how you want to operate and interact with people can give you a sense of emotional untouchability. It’s called inner peace. And it’s priceless.

Be one with the Cheetah.
Make it hard for them.
Don’t be easy prey.
You’ve got this.

Free Speech Protected – for Advocacy!

So happy with this decision! Beautiful!

“Mr. Barry Neufeld, an elected public school board trustee in Chilliwack, B.C., publicly criticized the initiative in online posts, which triggered significant controversy including calls for him to resign. Many people in the community considered his statements derogatory of transgender and other 2SLGBTQ+ individuals. Mr. Glen Hansman, a gay man, teacher and former president of the British Columbia Teachers’ Federation, publicly denounced Mr. Neufeld’s views, including to the news media, calling them bigoted, transphobic and hateful. He accused him of undermining safety and inclusivity for transgender and other 2SLGBTQ+ students in schools, and questioned whether he should remain a school board trustee.”

“Many people in the community considered his statements derogatory of transgender and other 2SLGBTQ+ individuals. Mr. Glen Hansman, a gay man, teacher and former president of the British Columbia Teachers’ Federation, publicly denounced Mr. Neufeld’s views, including to the news media, calling them bigoted, transphobic and hateful. He accused him of undermining safety and inclusivity for transgender and other 2SLGBTQ+ students in schools, and questioned whether he should remain a school board trustee.”

“Mr. Neufeld sued Mr. Hansman for defamation”

Final Decision:

“The first instance judge correctly dismissed Mr. Neufeld’s defamation suit.

Writing for the majority, Justice Karakatsanis restored the first judge’s order dismissing Mr. Neufeld’s defamation suit. She decided the public interest in protecting Mr. Hansman’s speech outweighed the public interest in remedying the reputational harm to Mr. Neufeld. She agreed with the judge that Mr. Neufeld had suffered limited harm, as he continued to express his views despite the public reaction and won re-election a year later.

As for Mr. Hansman, he spoke out to counter what he and others perceived to be discriminatory and harmful speech against transgender and other 2SLGBTQ+ youth, “groups especially vulnerable to expression that reduces their worth and dignity in the eyes of society and questions their very identity”. His response to Mr. Neufeld’s statements was neither disproportionate nor gratuitous.

As Justice Karakatsanis explained, “[t]he closer the expression lies to the core values of [freedom of expression], including truth-seeking, participating in political decision-making and diversity in the forms of self-fulfillment and human flourishing, ‘the greater the public interest in protecting it’”. She concluded Mr. Hansman’s speech aligned with these values.

Beautiful!!!!

Here is the case explained in plain language by the Supreme Court of Canada. I highly encourage to read the decision explained. It’s not a long read and it’s very readable.

https://www.scc-csc.ca/case-dossier/cb/2023/39796-eng.aspx

Media articles about this:

https://vancouver.citynews.ca/2023/05/19/former-chilliwack-school-trustee-defamation-lawsuit/


https://www.saanichnews.com/news/defamation-case-between-chilliwack-trustee-and-former-bctf-president-at-supreme-court-of-canada

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/neufeld-hansman-defamation-hate-debate-1.6059595

https://vancouver.citynews.ca/2018/04/12/controversial-chilliwack-trustee-subject-human-rights-tribunal-complaint/